The Cell

This is the beggining of my story that starts with my early childhood, and how I was able to escape from domestic abuse.

We had an ordinary looking family. My mom stayed home while her boyfriend, who I called dad, went to work. I didn't know who my biological father was and had no idea that my moms boyfriend wasn't my father for most of my childhood. I loved my dad, he worked a lot and always went to bed super early so we hardly saw him. Since he was gone so often he had no idea what went on when he wasn't home..

I remember seeing drugs all around the house at an early age, but thought it was normal and didn't think anything of it. Through the years my moms drug use worsened and when that happened, everything changed.

It started when I was 5 years old. My mom wasn't the same anymore and she started to let drugs and alcohol control her life. In result to her addictions she turned to physically abusing me. I lived in fear for my life daily. I was my moms personal punching bag.

I particularly remember one time when I was 8 years old. My sister and I had a friend over and we were playing board games when suddenly my mom started calling for me from the kitchen. I went in to see why she needed me and she started yelling in my face asking why I was being mean to my little sister. Her breath reeked with alcohol. I was confused because all I was doing was playing games and having fun with her and our friend. I tried to explain to her that all I was doing and I wasn't being mean to her. My mom never listened to me and the sudden gain of courage to tell her she was wrong made her furious. I instantly started to cry because I knew what was coming next. She started to grab my cheeks and squished my face super hard. I started to cry even more and she started to make fun of me for my hurting cheeks. She then pushed me up against the fridge and started to choke me. I was shocked. She had never grabbed me there. She then started to lift me up off the ground leaving my feet dangling. I couldn't breath and I remember being down to my last breath and thinking "oh my goodness, she's going to kill me." Soon after she let go and threw me across the kitchen, and left me laying on the floor. That was my life. Everyday.

Despite all of this I was too scared to tell anyone about my situation, so I kept it to myself.

That following weekend I stayed with my aunt. She found out about my moms drug/alcohol abuse, and that she physically abused me. My aunt was furious, and told me that I was going to live with her so I didn't have to be around that anymore. I was so excited, it was my dream to escape from my mom.

I went back home after that weekend and I lost all hope. I thought I was stuck with my mom. I felt like I was in a prison that I could never escape from. But to my surprise, 5 days later my aunt showed up to my school and took me home with her. I felt so free, and full of gratitude that I had truly left the cell of abuse.

After we got taken away, my mom and dad split up and she became homeless. We lived in a very small town, so it was hard not to see my mom occasionally. It was so painful to see her that way. She was lost, and had given up.

The abuse started when I was five and ended at 11. I dealt with 6 years of domestic abuse. 6 years of fear, bruises, and scars. I know that hundreds of others are also victims of this and hope that you don't feel alone. Because you're not. Every single one of us have worth. I felt worthless, and didn't have hope for a better life. But I have found that there is ALWAYS hope no matter what you think, even when surrounded by so much negativity.

For a while I was full of anger, and wondered why I had to go through these things. Why was my childhood such a nightmare? I couldn't find the answers until I changed my perspective. What did I need to learn from this experience? As I thought about this question I realized a few things. That through these memories I have learned what not to do with my life and to never get addicted to drugs and alcohol. That because of my childhood I've dreamed of being a good mother and made it a goal to be the opposite of my mom. And that I can change the long family cycle of addictions and abuse.

That has worked, it has helped me, and shaped me into the person I have become. I continue to strive everyday to stay way from any type of abuse/addictions. I am excited to start a family and give my children a life I never had. I know that we can all do the same. Let's try to do better each day, and spread some good in this world. Whatever your darkness may be, whatever hardships you may be going through, I know through positivity and faith in God that you too can escape your "Cell".

Tune in next week where I'll share how I managed to escape that horrible home only to find myself trapped in an even darker hell where emotional abuse was rampant and “Cinderella” was my nickname.

My goal of this blog is to spread good to those who may not feel like they can make a difference. So if you've felt touched at all please share what you hear so that others may benefit from this as well!

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Anjellica